No possibility for love?

I am a dark person. My life consisted of many tragedies and shocks that have warped me. I have never been in a relationship due to me fearing women. I want to be loved, but it isn't happening. I realize I have to be kind to others before I can get kindness back, but my whole situation is like the chicken and the egg. I need SOMEONE to show some sympathy before I can change myself. I have tried to be nicer, but my true self always comes through. What can be done? Professional help isn't working...